dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
