he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
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They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
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I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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