I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Randomize
