I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
