This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
this boner is exhausting
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
