Buhtt sex?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
