Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
