evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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