i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
