I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
