All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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