he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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