i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
