allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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