i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
