On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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