I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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