you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
