There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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