Pappa wants mamma naked
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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