so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
