She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
