Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
