I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
