Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
