guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
