nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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