I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
how does that bad decision feel?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
