we made out on top of his cat.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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