I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
