I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
