Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
