WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
