Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
