sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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