you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
