i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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