I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
