i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
