farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
