Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
