So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
