Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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