let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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