Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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