He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
