Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
