Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
