i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize