Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
