How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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