is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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