Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize