Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
