About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
well you can't waste a boner
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
