This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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