i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
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If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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